Thursday, June 09, 2005

Different People Love Chicken Differently

While lazing on a Sunday afternoon at a friend’s place after a particularly hectic night of revelry, he earnestly asked us if we were in the mood to watch some unintentionally hilarious porn.

Always the one to love things, people, and events that fall under the category , ‘unintentionally hilarious’ I jumped at the offer and asked him to play it on without any significant delay.

Credits rolled, faces and the pseudonyms of the main players appeared as a montage (I was marveling at how things have become so professional for this genre of cinema too), and then the action began….

Humans were doing it to animals, and vice versa. “Not my cup of tea, does not thrill me, does not arouse me, I’m not into this kinda stuff” I kept mumbling these grumbles while he asked me to wait and watch…he forwarded it to some scene in which it noticed a naked man sitting alone on a couch, playing with something really fluffy and really noisy that he held over his lap. On closer inspection I found that it was… a hen !!

I mean, the poor hen yaar… cudn’t he get any other animal? Screeching, clucking like a banshee the hens feathers were flying all over the place, but our man was heedless and continued his frenzied, relentless and abnormally aggressive lovemaking to the fowl, pretty evidently enjoying his act and almost proud of it.

And then…. maybe the hen decided to rather die than endure all that any longer.

So the hen died.

But he continued doing it to the dead hen till he climaxed, after which he dismounted the hen off his member and used whatever feathers were left on it to wipe himself clean. Later he threw the hen away, randomly slapped his own thighs and his own behind while giving satisfied groans. The camera panned on the dead hen for a few seconds till it faded into the next episode.

What a waste of a hen. I love my hens too, but cooked, not fucked. I wish someone had cooked it and made some nice chicken tikka, instead of just fucking it to death.