What am I doing with these People?

Character Assassination seems to be the most favorite hobby of people I know. Or is it that I happen to be friendly only with superbitches, male and female.

Sample the kind of things I have been told by various friends, relatives and acquaintences about others lately:-

1) Arre, she!!! She is one big slut yaar. You just have to go honk your car horn below her balocny at night and she will come in and give u a good time (actually the word that was used was not good time, it was an explanation of a graphic sexual act)

2) He is hopelessly gay. He made a pass at me yaar. I was shocked. I felt yucked out. I thought he had a girlfriend.

3) If she keeps on getting more of those botox treatments, a day will come when her eyebrows reach her scalp

4) And then he puked in my car !!!!! I tell you this is what happens when you put Tamilians in a car

5) I was served watermelons during my shoot, and she wasnt. So I just had to tell her, "Darling watermelons are only for the upper class"

6) Eeks, she is nothing but a measly Vishwa Hindu Parishad member. Can you imagine going to temples and chanting shlokas everyday.

7) Next time ask her to stay away from me. I cant be seen standing next to a girl who still wears low waist jeans. They are so 2003.

What say? Dont you think I need to change the set of people I intermingle with?

Tendering a Resignation

Mohan a colleague of mine resigned from the services to our company recently, and this was a drab and deceptive parting email he sent to all of us at office
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Dear All

I want to take a moment to let you know that I am leaving my position at Intelenet. I have enjoyed my tenure here and appreciate having the opportunity to work with you all.

Thank you for the support, guidance and encouragement you have provided me during my time at Intelenet.

Even though I will miss my colleagues and the company, I am looking forward to this new challenge and to starting a new phase of my career.

Please keep in touch, I can be reached at my personal email address blahblahblah@rediffmail.com or at home-98&%^&%^&%^&%^

Thanks once again for everything.

Yours truly,

Mohan

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I sincerely wish Mohan had been slightly more frank, forthright and honest in his mail. Maybe something like this would have been much more an interesting and enjoyable read, maybe I would do it while leaving..


Dear All

I want to take a moment to rub it into you guys that while I am leaving my position at Intelenet, you dumb oafs will still rot here for more. I dont know what I hated more here.. my workstation? my work per se? or was it just all of you guys? and dont know what must I have done to deserve this hideous misfortune of working with you all.

Thank you for all the bickering, back biting, one-upmanship games and wheeling dealings that you subjected me to during my time at Intelenet.

Man, am I glad to get rid of all of you fro0m my existance permanently!!

Fuck off and never stay in touch with me, coz im changing my email id, and my mobile number too

Balls to you,

Mohan
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There, isn't that much better?