How To Get Someone To Watch The News

Here I was minding my own business, living my own self-satisfied existence, being my usual bored self over the past weekend, when I get a call from an old long forgotten acquaintence, asking me if I would like to attend some rave party happening on the Saturday night at a remote and secret beach-house. You know one of those marvelously depraved debauched dos that promise uneneding psycho trance music, freely flowing alcoholic beverages of various varieties, a non-stop supply of illicit drugs and oodles of illicit sex.

After careful consideration, after realising that I had been more or less a well behaved and a rather very good boy for most of 2004, and after calling up a few of my favorite people to confirm their attendance, the very next things I found myself doing was a nifty surya-namaskar routine, some quick dumbell curls, and a series of furious ab-crunches to get in shape for the party.

Shaved, cologned, and gelled we hit the venue by around 11.00 pm that night I found myself home by afternoon the next day.

While I slept peacefully for most of the Sunday evening, I was jolted by a phone call (By the way, I hate cell phones) that said, "We have had it, Prem.. did you know there were newschannel cameramen there. Watch out for the NDTV 24X7 news this evening, and Zee News at night, its all over the screen."

I just wanted to sit down and weep, quickly recollecting if I didnt do anything too bad on the dance floor, or anything too slimy in the corners, or anything too bohemian on the beach, and was left wondering how was it that I couldnt notice any cameramen.

That resulted in me doing the unthinkable,.. watching newschannels!! Swapping between NDTV and Zee News in quick succession. Hanging on to the screen while I awaited to see glimpses of our night of revelery, only to find no such thing and instead got unecessarily educated about why Uma Bharti resigned, enlightened about the demands of striking truckers, notified about the 'Congress(I) something something ceremony' at Talkatora gardens, and such other dull and sundry matters, I lead a pristine life being blissfully unware about.

What a waste of my time and sleep. Dumb friends and their dumb ideas of jokes.